Little Miss Stella is three months old this week and I’m in full on disbelief. It oddly feels like she has been with us forever while also only arriving yesterday. So much has happened with her development and us as parents it’s impossible to document it all (tell that to the million pics on my iPhone) yet I wanted to start a motherhood series on my blog. Share my updates and learnings as I take on this new role as a mother. It is STILL so weird to type that out. Now lets start from the start, shall we? I have a draft of a post sitting there that I had started before Stella had arrived and was too nervous to share! It was my thoughts on motherhood, pre-motherhood. I’ll considering sharing that post later down the line perhaps? I’m sure there will be come comical statements being made.
:: This is Stella a couple weeks old – perhaps even a month? It almost feels like a blur ::
My Birth Story of Stella
Don’t worry – I’ll spare you any gross or gory details 🙂 It was a casual Saturday, I had just finished hosting a bookclub brunch and Andrew had just arrived home from closing up his family cottage. He had considered not coming home that evening but looking back, I’m SUPER glad he did. We had ordered some of our favourite Thai food and I remember now, when we went to pick it up, I was having these “cramps”. I had just figured that they were nothing. I was due on November 9th and this was the 29th of October so I really didn’t imagine we would be moving towards labour so soon. Fast forward a couple of hours and we’re just lounging in our living room and I was enjoying a glass of wine and I remember turning to Andrew and casually saying, these cramps are coming and going, I wonder if these are contractions? How are people supposed to know what contractions feel like without having felt them before? I texted my sister-in-law and she said that she felt that if they were coming and going to start watching the time and see how close/far apart they were. I also consulted this hilarious 8.5×11 print out from the OB titled the Labour Decision Tree and it was basically a little map that told you when it was go time. My water hadn’t broken and my mucus plug (they should rename this guy, just sounds gross) hadn’t dropped. Anyways considering neither of those actions took place, I just figured these “cramps” would go away. It also just felt like I had to use the washroom, a number two. I never knew that’s what it felt like! I headed upstairs to bed around 11:00pm and wanted to try and sleep it off. It’s actually kind of hilarious because I was so clearly in labour with contractions coming quicker and the paint of them increasing yet I was still in denial. It was around 1:00am that Andrew and I decided to call triage who then proceeded to suggest we come in and get checked out. I was so sure that we would be turned away, I didn’t even think we would be needing our hospital bag. Good thing Andrew was smart enough to ignore me.
We checked in and I remember leaning over the chair in pain while we were registering and trying to breathe through but I still didn’t believe that this was happening. We head into triage, I get undressed and the nurse hooks me up and starts gathering info. The doctor wasn’t around so a student came in and chatted with us hinting towards the reality that these things can take a long time and not to get too excited. While she is there with us, these contractions are REALLY coming… super painful and I’m just trying to get through them finding comfort in standing, leaning over (random). I’m now slowly turning into the frantic ladies you see in the movies and squeezing the bejesus out of Andrew. The initial nurse who checked me in is noticing (read: hearing me groan) and decides that since the doctor is busy she should head up there and just see if I’m getting close. She pops up and says “You’re 5 cm dilated, you’re going to have this baby very soon!” I turned to Andrew and was like whoa, this is actually going to happen and happen fast! We hadn’t texted our family until this point and Andrew sends out a text to our fam. The nurse asks if I would like drugs and I say YES.
We head upstairs to the delivery room and I’m all about getting these drugs because, well it’s damn uncomfortable and painful. It felt like HOURS before the anesthesiologist arrived. Like HOURS. I remember just staring at the door waiting (while trying to make it through each contraction) and every time someone new came in (a lot of people come in by the way, it’s like a kitchen party) I would look at them like “is it you? are you going to help me?”. Since my OB wasn’t in that evening (this is now around 3:00am) a member from his team came in to introduce herself and she immediately entered the room by saying, I’m not the person you are hoping for but I remember thinking she was cool, smart and I was happy she would be delivering the babe. Around 45 minutes later the epidural was administered and MAN was that a game changer. I also didn’t realize that you CANNOT move while they are giving it to you. As I mentioned, I’m rolling around the bed like a crazy person, moaning and groaning in pain, how the hell am I not going to move. Andrew held me still and I tried not move at all (they also tell you the scary damage that can be done if you do move) which is a good motivator.
It’s hard for me to recall but after the epidural, it was really just a crazy, miraculous set of events. I felt SO MUCH better and shockingly enough, they suggested that I try to get some rest before pushing, Yeah, totes, I’ll just have a quick nap before I do the scariest thing in my life, cool. I was almost fully dilated (!!!!) and it would be go-time shortly. Andrew is a great sleeper and can sleep anywhere so I think he caught some zzz’s while I remember just lying there being like HOLY moly. Before I knew it, the OB was back in the room and was like, lets do this! She checks me out and is like WHOA your babe’s head is right there! Want to touch it? GROSS! Was my immediate thought and then I was like, welp, not sure when else this will ever happen in my life so I went for it. WEIRD!!!! And we started pushing (not feeling anything a this point which is awesome) and after a couple rounds STELLA WAS HERE! They brought her right up to me and I think I was still in full-on shock, looking at Andrew and saying “this is our baby” over and over. I didn’t cry and I don’t think he did either? But the nurses asked him if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord and he politely declined. They were not taking no for an answer so he did it but I remember being squirmy. It was funny. I feel really lucky that my labour only lasted a couple of hours. She was born at 7:11 am and most of the nurses reminded me that this was pretty unusual for a first-time mom like myself.
It was absolutely the most SURREAL moment of our lives. I do feel like I was in shock for a little while after the fact. You know once you’re pregnant that you are going to give birth but man, it’s SO crazy how it all happens! Not to sound super lame-o you but really do love the baby RIGHT AWAY, it’s nuts. To be clear, I wasn’t like an all-loving baby person. You know those ones who just LOVE babies, want to hold them, see them, visit them – yah, not me. So in all honestly there was a time that I considered not evening going this route, I mean I just didn’t really see what the deal was all about but Andrew and I knew we wanted a family. We went for it and I’m so glad we did.
:: Proud Dad heading home! ::